A little boy was listening to a long and excessively boring sermon in church. Suddenly his eye the red sanctuary lamp caught his eye. Tugging his father's sleeve, he said, "Daddy, when the light turns green can we go?"
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
An old Irishman, McDougal, had a loyal and faithful dog who died. McDougal went to his parish priest and asked, "Father, could you say some prayers in Mass for my dog?" The old pastor said, "McDougal, you know very well that we don't pray for animals at Mass. Why don't you go down to that Baptist church and ask them? I'm sure they'll do it." "Well, ok, Father, I think I'll do just that. Oh, by the way, do you think they'll be offended if I offered them $5,000 to pray for my dog?"
Father exclaimed, "Why, McDougal, you never said your dog was Catholic!"
Man: Father, can you do a novena for me to win an SUV raffle?
Franciscan Priest: Sure, but what's an SUV?
Man explains what an SUV is.
Franciscan Priest: Oh no, that's not what novenas are for. I can't help you.
Man goes to a Dominican priest and makes the same request.
Dominican: Sure, but what's an SUV?
Man explains and gets the same answer.
Man goes to a Jesuit and makes the same request.
Jesuit: Sure, but what's a novena?
During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out. The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat.
The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers.
The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God's gift of brother darkness.
The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a signification of the transmission of divine knowledge.
The Carmelites fall into silence and slow, steady breathing.
The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
An old Irishman, McDougal, had a loyal and faithful dog who died. McDougal went to his parish priest and asked, "Father, could you say some prayers in Mass for my dog?" The old pastor said, "McDougal, you know very well that we don't pray for animals at Mass. Why don't you go down to that Baptist church and ask them? I'm sure they'll do it." "Well, ok, Father, I think I'll do just that. Oh, by the way, do you think they'll be offended if I offered them $5,000 to pray for my dog?"
Father exclaimed, "Why, McDougal, you never said your dog was Catholic!"
Man: Father, can you do a novena for me to win an SUV raffle?
Franciscan Priest: Sure, but what's an SUV?
Man explains what an SUV is.
Franciscan Priest: Oh no, that's not what novenas are for. I can't help you.
Man goes to a Dominican priest and makes the same request.
Dominican: Sure, but what's an SUV?
Man explains and gets the same answer.
Man goes to a Jesuit and makes the same request.
Jesuit: Sure, but what's a novena?
During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out. The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat.
The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers.
The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God's gift of brother darkness.
The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a signification of the transmission of divine knowledge.
The Carmelites fall into silence and slow, steady breathing.
The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.